The late 19th and early 20th centuries were a golden age for invention. Partly this was thanks to our harnessing the power of electricity – but it was also due to a newfound and energetic commitment to the importance of ideas. This boom led to many inventions that have improved people’s lives or made businesses more profitable. However, it also led to some of the most ludicrous patented ideas humans have ever come up with.
Device for Waking Persons from Sleep
This primitive alarm clock operates in a rather convoluted way. Either the inventor hadn’t thought of having one loud bell incorporated into the clock itself, or he thought that attaching many small bells, suspended above the sleeper’s bed would be a better idea. Another Rube Goldberg device if ever there was one.
Device for Producing Dimples
The brainchild of M Goetze, this contraption was designed to create dimples. The rounded part, labelled “c”, is placed inside the mouth, while the rolling pin at “f” is used to roll against the outside of the cheek, eventually producing dimple-like dents. We can’t imagine the process would be very pleasant.
Cigarette Ring
This device was designed to make it unnecessary to hold a cigarette between your fingers – instead the device holds it for you. This wouldn’t be a commercial success today, with anti-smoking laws clamping down on cigarette advertising. However, it’s no surprise that it didn’t catch on in the hey-day of tobacco production either.
Saluting Device
Nothing impresses the ladies like tipping your hat to them – but what if you’re too lazy to do this yourself? That must have been the motivation for inventor J C Boyle to come up with this overly complicated, Rube Goldberg type contraption, designed to tip your hat for you.
Life Saving Apparatus
Looking at this patent and its design, we have only one word: “how?” Those amateurish looking wings and spring-hat don’t look as if they could save your life in very many situations, if at all.
Cycling Armour
This suit looks just like a diving suit, but it was designed to protect cyclists. The helmet design is particularly short-sighted (excuse the pun), given that it would obviously obstruct the peripheral vision of a cyclist. Let’s hope this one never made it past prototype stage.
“Exercising Device”
Inventor C.G. Purdy must have had a rather strange idea of exercise to come up with this bizarre device. Why would you want to exercise your neck via a two-way mouthpiece that forces you to stare into the eyes of your co-exerciser? These two looks pleased enough, at least.
Combined Grocer’s Package, Grater, Slicer and Mouse and Fly Trap
The value of this contraption, described as a grocer’s package, grater, slicer and mouse and fly trap, is certainly less than the sum of its parts. Our worst fear is that it gets its duties mixed up, grating mice and slicing flies, and storing that.
Method of Preserving the Dead
Inventor J Karwowski billed his invention as a way to preserve a dead body, presumably by completely sealing the corpse from any outside contact. What he envisioned, however, looks more like a macabre paper-weight.
Apparatus for Signalling From Graves
Another invention that’s more than a little macabre, this machine was designed to let you signal from the grave if you were mistakenly buried while still alive. Picture the buy-line: “Declared Dead but Still Kicking? Signal your beating heart to nearby graveyard visitors with an extremely loud bell!”
This post was provided courtesy of Jeff, a writer from www.hvdh-sa.co.za – a South African industrial engineering company who’s engineers tend to design machines with rather more realistic and useful applications.
